question about everyday living rights

By Heather

So, my downstairs neighbor wrote a 2 page letter and stuffed it in my mailbox.  She is complaining about "stomping" around at all hours of the night and showering at 3 am and ‘loud talking’ and noises from a "tv or videogame".

The shower thing I have NO idea where this comes from.  I shower in the afternoon and my BF showers before work at 5 am or so.  I don’t know how this can be avoided.  The only time a random shower happens if I’m sick or something and want to wash up (but who wouldn’t if you have a stomach bug) and that’s maybe what, like a few times a year?

the ‘stomping’ is probalby due to this house being OLD.  The walls are paper thin and the floor creaks even when I walk on the balls of my foot (I never go heel toe I’ve always been self conscious about stomping noise as I hate it.  I complain to my BF if he walks heavily but he’s usually in bed by 10:30 as he is at work by 6.  I stay up late but yet again, I purposely (and always have been) trying to walk quietly.  I never run through the apartment and try to be quiet but I feel like crying because the house is old and EVERYTHING sounds noisy.  (The pictures almost fall off the wall due to the train 1/4 of a mile away and the walls shake when a truck hits a pothole outside).  I am at my wits end I don’t know what to do about this.

I don’t talk more than a whisper on the phone or whatever after my BF goes to bed anyway because I don’t want to be loud when he’s sleeping so honestly I think she’s talking about loud talking during the day and I already feel like my right to live like a normal person is compromised.  I don’t yell or scream.  I don’t have visitors even during the day.  I don’t even play a TV at night.  Everything at night is through headphones.  The TV has been on maybe once in 5 weeks and it was during daylight and not loud.  Everything else is through headphones.  (I don’t have cable or anything so no point in watching tv for the most part since I only have a few DVD’s)  The only possible "tv or videogame noise" is sometimes at 7 am I will turn on my laptop without headphones (and it has tiny horrible quiet speakers so I can sometimes barely hear dialogue) or my kindle fire (laughable loudness because those speakers are SO tiny)

I’m so stressed out because I don’t want anything bad to happen.  I never complain about noise from her even though I hear everything.  Her dog barks all day long when she’s gone and I never said anything because it’s a dog and I can ignore it.  I seriously dont want to complain against her either because I feel it’s the house and not her trying to be loud (It’s a really old house and I’m pretty sure there’s no insulation between floors as during the winter I can keep my thermostat at 55 because the heat downstairs radiates up).

I am trying to be super quiet but I feel like this is ruining my everyday life.  I don’t ever play music unless it’s through headphones, I try to walk quietly etc.  I am so stressed because she said if we can’t work this out she’s going to the landlord but I don’t know how to be quieter so I’m worried she will.  Like I have rugs on 90 percent of my apartment and even a rug overtop of the carpet in my living room.  I can’t afford ‘soundproofing’ so I don’t know what I can do.

Her letter was really agressive sounding (or more of a b word) and it stresses me out.  I have an anxiety disorder so this sort of stuff really bothers me because I don’t know how to fix it.  Right now I haven’t been able to enjoy my evening at all (was going to watch whose line is it anyway on the CW site but couldn’t even enjoy it through headphones because I was that stressed).  I’ve literally been googling noise complaints for about 7 hours now.

Is there anything I can do to keep this from escalating?  She said it’s been going on ‘forever’ but never mentioned it to me or my bf and she’s seen us more than a few times outside.  Like I feel blindsided and am really stressing.

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